| Learn This One Skill And Save Your Marriage |
| Written by Stan J. Van Sant |
| Saturday, 28 November 2009 08:50 |
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If you are a bind, if you've tried a lot of different techniques to save your marriage, maybe you should give active listening a shot. But, first of all, what is it? Let's look closer.
If you are a bind, if you've tried a lot of different techniques to save your marriage, maybe you should give active listening a shot. But, first of all, what is it? Let's look closer. When you are engaged in a conversation what goes on? Are you constantly thinking of multiple story-lines at the same time? Formulating your response? Measuring? Calculating? If so, you are NOT engaging in active listening. You participate in the active listening when you weed out all the distraction and bring your galloping attention into focus and really start to listen with all of senses. You don't allow any interruptions to take place, but give all of awareness to your partner. Easy? Far from it. Is active listening essential to a marriage? When troubles in marriage begin, you'll do just about anything - if you care enough - to solve the problem. Active listening is a skill that goes beyond the usual confines of a marriage, however. The benefits are huge and could impact your entire life. Active listening allow you to establish a bond it a relationship where your partner feels heard, really heard. And, once your partner sees you doing something differently the door opens for them as well. A whole new relationship for you both could then be created. Talk less, listen more Everyone likes to talk, express and be heard. But it is skill to listen. And, actually, I believe it be a mark of greatness. And when you listen to understand, really understand, then people flock to you in droves. Who doesn't want to be heard? The next time you find yourself in an intense confrontational situation, sit back and remind yourself to listen and see if it doesn't make a difference. Active listening, here's how to do it: Stay away from attempting to communicate when you are preoccupied. Don't talk with them when you are watching television. The stereo shouldn't be on. Put the phone down and stop the text messaging. Give them your all. Don't the two of you deserve that, doesn't our relationship? And, if you dare to sprinkle on a little extra spice to your new found active listening skills, try utilizing the extra bonus of active sharing. Dig up some pleasant memory you both share. Doesn't have to be recent. Any time the two of were close and in contact. A leisurely walk you took. Your child's play. A sporting event you attended. Bring those two components together, and not only do you have a chance to save your marriage, you have chance to live a better quality of life. About the Author: Want to find out more about Secrets to Surviving Infidelity, then visit Stan J. Van Sant's site discover the best tips on how to Save Your Marriage |